You're an ocular magnet, but it's okay.

- Can I tell you that I love you?

- Can I call you dazzling?

- Can I say that your smile is like hot cocoa to my heart?

And can you not be weird about it?

Because there's this other person too. 

I've known him for about twenty years. We actually grew up together. Quite frequently I tell him things like, "Dang son, you're lookin' fly." We tell each other everything about ourself, what girls we like, what girls that like us, and laugh at how often those names don't coincide. I find myself finishing his sentences, and we do just about everything together. I concern myself with his daily habits. I try to make sure he spends time with the Lord. When he's being an idiot, I'm the first one to tell him. 

I don't need to say it out loud, but I love him. He's my closest confidant, my most trusted friend. I'd like to think that I would do anything if I knew it would make him a better person. He knows me as well as I know myself. We both know that we're destined to spend the rest of our lives together. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gay. 

I'm not attracted to him. Even the thought of it is wrong on so many levels. Still, there is no one I've shared more time with, spent more time on, or loved more deeply.

Honestly, there are times when he's a real screw-up. I've gone for days, weeks, even months not liking him. He made some really stupid decisions a while back and I beat him up pretty hardcore about them. But I never gave up on him. Eventually he realized his fault and decided he wanted to change. After months of hardly talking, we have emerged stronger. He's back on the path and I'm proud of him.

Oh by the way, his name is Peter Douglas. 

Yeah. Me. I love myself.

You see, I have a mentor who says I should, "love my neighbor as myself." 

As I work on loving myself, and I'd like to love you too.

So...

- Can I stop you and say that today you are the most attractive thing since sliced bread? 

- May I wax poetic about how your smile lights up a room or your laughter reminds me of little children dancing in a field of wildflowers? 

- If your heart is breaking and you're all alone in the world, can my arms reassure you? 

     (I buy shirts designed for maximum absorbency, and last I checked makeup doesn't stain, so don't worry about the tears.)

- Can we talk about the Lord, and how he rips our lives apart, and reassembles them in beauty? 

     (And drop the religious crap, that Bible you hide behind is a facade 'cause you think hurting is wrong. You are real and faulty, but really it's fine, because I'm the same way and we're learning.)

Let me into your life, tell me what's going on, and we'll tackle this thing together. Real love isn't a gift meant only for marriage, and our lives really shouldn't be hoarded. 

And speaking of marriage. Back up off it. 

Marriage shouldn't be based only on love, 'cause love shouldn't be restricted to just one person. 

     (Just to clarify I mean selfless love, not sex-love). 

I really don't know what marriage should be based on, other than divine direction, because I haven't got that far yet, but whatever, that's another post.

But if I can love you, and you can love me, and we can avoid all the romantic nonsense, I think we may just make it through this crazy thing called life, and possibly redeem the name "Christian."